Note: wintersox is a poet who appears frequently on the Disarm The Settlers messageboard (a message board about Guided By Voices that I am an active member of). He has also appeared on a Dave Matthews message board and the DylanTalk message board. He often writes bizarre poetry from the perspective of a failed rock star, is impervious to criticism, and engages in lengthy debates with the members of the board. Most often he is the subject of derision, although he has a handful of supporters and obsessives. I requested and was granted what is, as far as I know, the first interview with wintersox.A poet and A Star: The wintersox InterviewPOETRYWhat was the first poem you wrote?I began writing around the year 2000, which would have made me 20 at the time. I never started in the conventional way most do, writing something safe. I thought that I was a beginner so my first few attempts at writing should be terrible, and they were. It was always intriguing to try writing aware of the material, but also of the larger story of life being written simultaneously. The first official poems I recall writing were Honky Monkey and Bible Writer Blues, they weren’t very good.
However, there is more to it. Recently my girlfriend and I were at home for Thanksgiving and my mom was showing my girlfriend the scrapbook of memories her and my grandpa had made for me growing up. And what startled me was something I couldn’t recall. In 1st or 2nd grade the Catholic school I attended would be featured occasionally in the diocesan newspaper. I couldn’t remember anything about being in any such paper, but what it said made my hair stand on end. The newspaper said I wrote religious poetry and was intending on publishing it. So that got me thinking that perhaps many of these poems I had written since 2000 had really been ones I wrote at a very young age but am just now remembering or something. I don’t think I’m necessarily recalling them word for word, but a lot of my writing seems to be coming from a place beyond memory.
The first you published?I have yet to be published. I have shared nearly all my work on the internet. My work started out on a Dave Matthews Band website and soon after began appearing on a Bob Dylan site. In 2004 I also started sharing it on a Guided by Voices site. I do hope to put the best of my work in a book. But being published, the whole act of sending the work out and campaigning, chasing a dream, that’s someone else’s game, not mine. I’m content with what I’m doing. If my words are meant to find you they will.
Are you interested in having your poetry published in the more traditional sense, rather than just on online message boards?I want to put the best of it in a book. It deserves to be traditionally published, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that it will. I don’t know why it shouldn’t be, if it is promoted right it is going to make whoever publishes it a lot of money in the long run because the material is there. I’m listening if anyone wants to get in contact and make an offer. If I have to pay to have it self published then I’ll do that too. It’s not my fault traditional publishers often overlook talent. Look at the music industry, at Peter Gabriel, Wilco, and countless others who get dropped by their labels despite being extraordinary performers. Not to blame traditional publishers though, as it stands right now there’s such a slim chance they’ve heard of me, and if so, they probably don’t know the extent of the writing, there’s so many dynamics to it because it was also released online, it was also experience. I’m one of the greatest living writers if you want to believe it or not. It’s not always something to envy, writing has been really tough and has come really close to killing me, but overall it has thus far been a very rewarding experience despite me having yet to see a dime from it.
Could you explain the importance of publishing your work online? - This seems to be an essential part of your mission as an artist.I’m glad you asked. I once said I viewed my computer as a soul or dream machine that could alter destiny if used correctly. There is something spiritual about the architecture of those chips, I read something about the real minds of the computer world having a lot of revelations under the influence of psychedelics, and they were geniuses anyway. So I tried to see to see how far I could take it. When the internet came along, I viewed it as a gateway, at least into consciousness and the inner workings of people. Not to say that computers aren’t used in other ways, there are still countless ways to operate them we haven’t thought of. To be honest, I started using the machine like most people still do today, looking for things to purchase online, looking at girls, it wasn’t until that I was introduced to forums and the importance of people online that I began to have ideas about using it as a tool for art and began taking it seriously.
Now people all over the world use their computer to share art, I doubt I was ever the first to do it, but I don’t know if anyone ever did it quite like me. I wanted to delve deep into the magic of experience, which was the overall goal perhaps. Besides sharing my writing, I also shared lists of good songs I knew, and visual art. Unfortunately I was led into many arguments by people looking to tear other people down as a means of leveling themselves. It was unfortunate, and in retrospect revealed a very dark side of myself that I do not wish to revisit. I’d get really angry at them and end up sounding as vile as they did because they would purposely lie whenever they could. I’m more interested in progress than trying to change the past. I have no ill will towards those people because I understand that they were often angry at something else in their real lives much more than they were angry with someone like me who they never really knew. I’m a poet.
What do your parents/family members/friends think of your poetry?Sadly, my friends hated me for it. That’s where it has spilled into real life for me. My friends saw some of the writing and hated it for whatever reason. College ended, and I severed those ties, though I do wish them the best, they will always be my friends. My family has always supported me and I hope they always will.
I put my soul into my writing. Granted some of it was written badly or crazily on purpose. I should also mention that nearly all of it is written through a character, a rock star who failed because he had too big of an ego. I always thought that was funny. My critics always say that I have too big of an ego, but I think they say that because they intentionally choose to forget that I wrote with a huge ego as a joke. I do believe I’m a great writer, but for the longest time I didn’t. I always said if most people are allowed to have a huge ego disguised as a selfless person then surely I can have one disguised as a giant.
Have you met any other poets online you have been able to connect with and share work and criticism?I had a great mentor who helped me immensely, an older woman who lived out west. She is a genuine writer and artist and has been through it all. She was very kind and in many ways mystical. We often exchanged letters, and she was always very supportive. A writer should listen to people who speak to them in a positive way. Many people who I consider influences are dead or people who I communicate with by listening or reading their output. I’m at the point now that it is more important to trust myself than go around seeking approval. I have always listened to what people said about my writing, with the internet being as interactive as it is. I think that instant feedback was essential in accelerating my progress on many levels, not just writing.
MUSIC Your first EP was composed entirely of cover songs - Could you give me some insight into why you chose those particular songs?I loved music long before I ever knew I was a writer. My family is musical. It is in my blood and I grew up listening to my mom play piano. I’ve always loved music. I would imagine everyone loves it, and those that don’t are geniuses who love the sound of silence.
The EP I just released was my first attempt at music, and I used all first takes on it. It’s probably horrible, but isn’t that the point? I do think music and performing is a direction I could be heading in along with my writing, but I’m not sure of that. I covered songs by Bob Dylan, David Bowie, and Guided by Voices on it. I wanted to sing great songs.
Is there a follow-up release in the works, and if so will it contain original material?Yes, I am working on a new project currently. I am uncertain when it will be finished. This one has a title and my intentions are for it to be a more focused effort. The plan is to continue recording a capella cover songs but also include me reading or singing some of my poems.
Do you have any plans to collaborate with other musicians?It’s a dream of mine. I really don’t know how some of them would react. I’m quite fearful of it actually. I don’t really know if I’m singing in tune or doing it right, I just know what sounds right, kind of like how The Beatles didn’t read music and just played it. There are so many great musicians past, present, and future, it would be a dream to work with Bob Dylan, Neil Young, Pete Townshend, Roger Waters, Bruce Springsteen, U2, Radiohead, Yusuf Islam, Michael Jackson, Peter Gabriel, Lou Reed, Dave Matthews, Robert Pollard, Phil Lesh, Bela Fleck, Devendra Banhart, Nicolai Dunger anyone with that type of connection with the universe.
GENERAL One of your most famous statements is regarding the lack of heat in your home. Has your financial situation improved?No. The sad thing is I currently have zero dollars to my name. I put all my faith in my writing. I had to do it. No one is ever going to be able to say that I sold shoes and thought I was a writer. There is nothing wrong with selling shoes, with feeding your family, but I am a writer. I’ve also been quoted as saying that I am worth a trillion dollars, I honestly believe that. I hope someday to be rich, my goal was always to live modestly and give it all away to people who really needed it if I ever made it.
Are you employed? What are some jobs you've had in the past?I have a business degree from the 4th best program in the country. But instead of taking the token corporate position right out of school, I have chosen to write. As Frost said, "I took the one less traveled by." A funny story about that poem, I was class valedictorian and read that poem in my speech right after a girl I tied with did. I don’t think anybody got it, but I did, to me it was one of my greatest moments.
I’ve worked several odd jobs to make ends meet, living very modestly. After college I managed to live two years on two thousand dollars, which is unheard of for the majority of Americans. No great job to speak of besides being an artist and writing.
SELECTED QUESTIONS FROM SETTLERS (FROM THE "ASK WINTERSOX" THREAD)[Note: Some questions have been edited and/or rephrased]
What is your greatest inspiration? (from
baronvonrichtoven)
The mystery of life. I love the fact that God has a sense of humor in addition to being kind and everything else. I take inspiration from everywhere, nature, entertainment, relationships. I have always read and have always gone to the library since I was born. I love reading about philosophy, art, astronomy, literature, world religions, and the unknown. I also do a thing where I go into a library and walk through the isles praying that the best books find me. And you know they do.
Do you enjoy the music from the rock label SST? If so, which bands? (from
flipyrwig)
I’m familiar with Soundgarden, Dinosaur Jr., and Sonic Youth, haven’t heard the Bill Walton album.
Have you experienced any serious health problems in your life - physical or mental? (from
revelogic)
I was born a severe asthmatic. I would have attacks and would have to go to the hospital where they would put me in an oxygen tent for days. When I hit puberty my symptoms went away and I have been fine ever since. I hope it stays that way. Illness is a very serious part of life, I can’t imagine the pains other people go through. My breathing trouble, though severe, was minor compared with what other people find the courage to live through everyday.
As far as mental illness goes, I hope I am not ill. I was never violent. A lot of people would read my writing and think I was completely mad, I could have been, maybe my character was. But I also know America is dead set on making its citizens believe they are ill and have problems that they sometimes don’t have. Sadly, physicians and psychiatrists have an interest in convincing people they are ill every bit as much as they have an interest in healing them. It seems encouragement, prayer, meditation, and a healthy lifestyle can heal the mind. So many people are hanging onto the past, they believe they are scarred for life, it isn’t the case. Bad things happen to all of us and we have to work through it and move on, we aren’t being told that, we are being given pills.
Having said this, mental illness is extremely real, Goya made that clear. We do need medicines, we do need solutions. What I get tired of is the labeling, especially the false kind. What’s the difference between a schizophrenic and someone falsely labeled as one? Some people care about the world on a deep level and are labeled sick because they are different. It breaks my heart. Some people live their whole lives acting clear headed and stoic, but inside they are a wreck, inside they truly are ill. Looks can be deceiving. I think the people who run government are mentally ill lying to us all the time. A lot of the diagnosing of mental illness comes down to opinion because so little is known about the mind and these diseases. I feel some of them are completely made up by someone looking to make money.
A fairly complete (although somewhat controversial) collection of wintersox' poetry can be found here. The wintersox EP is available for download here.
